I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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