I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
