So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
