Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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