I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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