i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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