that's an acceptable place to lick
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
