Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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