On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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