I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
