i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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