Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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