i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I smell stomach acid.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Life is so much better after having sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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