hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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