can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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