so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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