honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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