Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
