she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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