Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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