I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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