It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
