Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
