dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
