nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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