I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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