somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
