He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
