Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same