my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.