Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
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She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest