I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just so full of love and alcohol