All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize