Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..