I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize