i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
