like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
