PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's shark week go big or go home
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
