you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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