I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
