Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
