after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
