just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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