Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize