i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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