So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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