Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
