got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
