i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
