I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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