made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
