It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize