Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize