I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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