i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
