oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
