textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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