I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
