Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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