there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize