please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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