Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
